Moving on Up!

So…I’m moving.

To another blog!

This blog was fantastic through my time in Korea, but now, things have changed. I’m a military wife with a deployed husband, trying to get into photography, working at a school, and trying to remain calm during the issues that come up living back with my parents.

Sometimes I just want to set the house on fire.

So anyway, come on over!

Outside the Lines

VERY excited!

Let me just preface this by saying that this will probably only be exciting to me, however…

I think I have found my gym. And I am so excited! I’ve tried another place around which was ok and tried P90x (at home workout DVD’s) but…I don’t know, I just wasn’t feeling it I guess. However, today was perfect.

In my freshman year of college I worked out pretty frequently. I was in that gym 5 days a week, about 2 hours a day. (I took weekends off to drink and be hungover and/or lazy.) I have never felt so good in my life and had so much self-confidence. I’ve spent the last several years wanting to get to that point again. Also, I’ve noticed a small change this year in my metabolism and in my body. I’m still mid-twenties, but I don’t want to get into my 30’s and be shocked by my own appearance. I want to take charge and get back to being happy with myself.

There’s a good and bad to this “freshman year” goal. The good and bad is that I never weighed myself, I don’t know what size I was, and there are no measurements that will let me know when I’ve actually reached the goal. So really, it’s just remembering the way I felt about myself.

There’s also something underlying here as well. Disclaimer: this may be TMI. Ok, so I know that I am one of those people that brings their self-consciousness into the bedroom. If I don’t feel sexy, I’m just not up to my best, which causes this whole thing of guilt and frustration and my poor husband has to deal with it. I HAVE to change this because, frankly, I want to be at my best and I want to get it back in return. I truly think you get back what you put in, and thinking about my body issues just is not going to work for me anymore.

So, I’m going to the gym to feel good about myself. I am going to splurge a little and buy clothing that fits me well, instead of items that were on the junior’s sales rack 3 years ago that just aren’t appropriate anymore. I am going to work on remembering how to feel sexy and good about myself.

And I’m very excited about it!

Lame.

Wow, sorry I’m so lame. I just looked and realized my last real post was in April!

SO MUCH HAS HAPPENED.

Namely, J is deployed. So now I have a milspouse deployment blog…of sorts. I don’t want to just be talking about how he’s gone and how much I miss him…but let’s not lie to one another, I’m totally going to sometimes.

He left about two months ago, so 10 to go! Where he’s at is very hot, they’ve actually MOVED him (and one other soldier) to a DIFFERENT location in the past two months and changed his job several times as well. Not to mention the frustrations of trying to deal with finances from separate time zones and no consistency in communication, it has definitely been rough.

Also, I refuse to be one of the military wives who does not work, but has no children to care for at home. I think women deserve to work, and also have just as much responsibility to bring something to the table. That was something that really bothered me on base before-all these women opting not to work for no reason. Stay at home moms? Totally fine. Lazy wives that seem to be there only for the paycheck and tramp around the base in their most revealing clothing? Not fine.

This whole past year I worked at a local high school and was really happy there, and by the end of the year I was able to receive certification. HOWEVER, they had to actually send my OK cert. to Massachusetts since I moved back home.

Yes. Back with my family.

Don’t even get me started. I love my family, but my mother and I are really starting to get into it lately. I was just really down about J leaving, being unemployed and having to start all over in another state, moving and the stress that comes with it, and having financial issues (and pretty consistent little arguments with J as a result), the guilt of not working and trying to spend as little of the money my husband was bringing in, etc. etc. So the whole time she’s been comparing her first year of marriage and mine, basically saying it was the same because my dad worked a lot and she didn’t get to see him, and she was unemployed as well.

I want to scream at her. WORKING LONG HOURS does not equal a DEPLOYMENT. Being unemployed because you chose to be (she has lived in the same town her entire life- there was nothing disrupting her job search or networking abilities) is not equal to UP AND MOVING AND STARTING ALL OVER.

She has told me that being negative and depressed (I’ve gained 10 lbs. since I came home, btw) means that no one will want to talk to me or listen to it because no one likes someone who is negative.

So if you’ve made it this far listening to me b*tch, thanks for being there in spite of the fact that I’m not particularly cheery at the moment.

Our Wedding

I’M. SO. EXCITED.

Our fantastic, amazing, brilliant photographer has just put up a video of

our wedding, and it’s beautiful. We’re so excited! She chose all the

photos to put in it, the song, everything.

Our Wedding

I’ll try to put up photos as soon as I can, but I would really love to hear

what y’all think!

Fresh

Ummm. Wow.

Really fell off the wagon there. Sorry about that.

Now that I, slowly, painfully, have dragged myself back up here and am getting my bearings again, I really need to get caught up!

MUCH has happened. First, I figured I’m feeling a fresh start, time for a new blog name. I no longer live in Korea, so the “Korea” title wasn’t very appropos. Actually, I’ve hit my six month mark in Oklahoma.

OKLAHOMA. Who knew that’s where I’d be? Not this girl.

Josh and I are living together in a fantastic little apartment not too far from base, where he works, or from the university I started attending for my master’s, or the high school where I do sub assignments. (It’s pretty convenient.)

Alright, now that the basics are thrown out there, let’s get into the juicy detail!

So Josh, that boy I met at the City Hall stop in Seoul, South Korea? He turned out to be…the man I married! Yes, married! He and I had been living together for a few months when, right before Christmas, he got down on one knee and asked me to marry him. Most of my family actually met him as my fiancé. We were planning a big July wedding, but were told about three weeks ago that he would be deploying before that would ever take place. His unit is preparing to leave, but we don’t know exactly when. Actually, I should be finding out more tonight, so I’ll see what the deal is.

So basically, they said, “Hey, you only have one week guaranteed leave before you deploy, so wrap up whatever you need to do.” So…in one week, we scrambled to completely change plans and get married here on post with only immediate family. It was crazy! Because there really wasn’t time for a wedding dress, I decided to go in a different direction; since he was going to be  wearing his dress blue uniform to the ceremony, I would go with something 40’s inspired! I wore a traveling dress, a birdcage veil, and bright red lipstick. The whole thing turned out to be really beautiful and special, and once I get the photos, I’m totally putting them up! We’re still going to do the big ceremony we planned so we can celebrate with everyone, it’ll just be when he comes home.

Then, since family had flown in, we spent our honeymoon with relatives. I’m not complaining, it just seems really funny to me. He still had to be back at work on Monday, so it wouldn’t have been anything elaborate. Since we couldn’t have romantic, we decided to go ridiculous.

This would be my brother, Luke, enjoying the heck out of some ukulele.

Basically, this sums it up. Sometimes it was a little difficult to play hostess because it’s much different here than it was in Korea; here, I have to kind of search for random adventures, as opposed to just wandering into them. (I blame this entirely on the lack of a comprehensive public transit system. Places with subways are always chock-full of strange things waiting to happen.)

Other than that, the families, which had never met before, snuggled up in our little apartment and hung out, had some dinner, definitely had some drinking. That part was all hilarious, especially when Josh’s very polite, Southern lady-esque grandmother was drinking peppermint schnapps straight from the bottle. Needless to say, I think they all got along swimmingly.

I have to say, although most people don’t seem to like it here, it’s been pretty good to me. I have my husband, the apartment, started school again, and got my foot in the door at a really great school. I’ve had some amazing experiences working there, and my next assignment starts up on Monday, so I’m getting nervous/excited about that.

And, to top it all off, Josh’s parents brought us his dog they had been watching over while he was deployed.

Meet Q, the lovable 3-legged pup!

Home

Goodbye, Korea.

This week has been crazy. Absolutely, mind-numbingly crazy. I worked Monday and Tuesday, saying goodbye to my students, all those little energetic bodies, and I dealt with it. I didn’t want the kids to be upset, so I didn’t make a big deal out of going. If I saw tears, I immediately launched into a fast-paced game to make them disappear. I could handle it.

kate n me

I also said goodbye to my co-workers and my director, or my “Korean mother” as she styled herself. I hugged Jenny and wished her luck and gave congratulations on her wedding I’ll be missing. I saw Rachel for the last time, my closest American friend while abroad, and she was super sweet and gave me an “Airport Survival Gift,” complete with a book I’ve really wanted to read for a while! The last person I saw was Kate, one of my best friends of all time. I really don’t know what kind of year it would have been without her, and I’m going to miss that woman like crazy.

But again, I could handle it.

I can handle all the stress in front of people. It’s the weird, by myself moments when I fall apart. I never cried or got upset until I was cleaning my classroom for the last time. That’s when it started. I mean, really?

On Wednesday, I left early in the morning and began my 26-hour travel itinerary. The flight time itself was, in total, only 16 1/2 hours, but with layovers and all that, I was all sorts of messed up. I didn’t really sleep too much, so I was a bloodshot mess when my family and a friend showed up to meet me at the airport.

And I really do love my family. They’re so strange. Sitting in the car on the way home from the airport, we didn’t fill each other in on what’s been going on with us this year. They didn’t ask me about Asia, and we didn’t get into who got married/divorced/pregnant, etc. at home. Nope.

We talked about how they treat the cows that are made into kobe beef. What a weird little family I have. 🙂

So now I’m home. And I’m a MESS. Like, take a shower and end up crouched in the tub, crying my eyes out. I can’t have a lick of alcohol because, as I found out last night, every single thing rises to the surface and I do that choking/crying thing. It’s horrible.

Yes, I miss Korea. I do. And I really love my family, and it’s making me freak out to know I only have such a short time with them before I leave next week to move to the South to be with my boyfriend. Because I love him, and I want to be with him, but I am already missing my family and I just got here. I will never see all the people I want to see while I’m here, I’ll always feel guilty for disappointing people, but I’m just freaking out right now.

Add to the fact that I just found out my boyfriend is most likely deploying again in February.

I won’t lie. I’m a downright lunatic right now. But, I’m going to try and “pull myself up by my bra straps”, as my grandmother would say, and enjoy every minute with them, and try not to be such a wretch. And then, I’ll get to see my boyfriend, where he promised to take me to see buffalo. And that’s something I can really get into.

Quincy Looks Like a Dinosaur

My boyfriend shaving his 3-legged dog, Sir Quincy:

shave

A dilophosaurus:

dilophosaurus